Which “S” word?

SHOULD.

I should-ed my way through life for a long time.

Should stay in my first veterinary job for at least a year, even though I knew deep down it wasn’t the right one for me after the first eight months.

Should get a certificate, even though I barely left work as it was and on reflection I’m sure I only did it because I felt I’d fluked it through vet school. (All power to you if you want to do one, go for it, especially if it lights you up.)

Should have achieved more in my life by X years qualified. Isn’t social media great for a few more societal pressures?

Should look, act or dress a certain way that I knew deep down wasn’t really ‘me’.

I should have handled that differently.

It feels pressurised even just to say the word.

Does this resonate?

Which SHOULDs would you like to ditch?

Which pressures and expectations that never felt quite right for you, are you ready to let go of?

Sometimes we chase SHOULDs as maybe they make us feel like we fit in more. Potentially like less of an imposter? Sometimes we were handed ‘shoulds’ down the generations, without us ever stopping to ask if we’d still choose them.

If it were only so easy to put the ‘shoulds’ in the figurative bin and be finished with them – even now, they pop up for me; we’re all human. The reality is that even an awareness of the narratives that we listen to, without judgement, and the realisation that thoughts are not facts is powerful. How could we treat ourselves with some kindness when that ‘should’ gremlin pops up?

One top tip that I always love is flipping a ‘should’ into a ‘could’, which gives us a choice back. It also empowers us that if we choose to do it, we have actively made that decision. “I could do a certificate”, “I could have done things differently”.

As we spend some time reflecting, a powerful question we can ask ourselves is: what do I want life to be about? Or maybe, if that feels too big, what do I want the next 3months to be about?

This doesn’t have to be something colossal (again, another should), but what feels right for you?

Sometimes that answer comes from letting ourselves explore. See what really lights us up.

Try new things.

My life is about each day helping to remind someone of their value and who they really are, myself included.

That’s why I have so much joy in coaching, mentoring and supporting those with big plans that feel a bit impostery through Vet Empowered.

So here’s your reminder that you’re too valuable to be an extra in someone else’s movie.

Which SHOULDs are you gently letting go of?